The Intermediate State

What a wonderful gift to the American millennial graduate that the second you are granted that hard earned degree, you suddenly have all the answers. To everything. Even better yet, your path is set and the next five years of your life are laid out in front of you like a yellow brick road that you skip down with a few of your closest friends with Jesus smiling fondly, bragging on you to the angles; "That's Bree, she's one of my favorites! She did what I asked, even when she thought she couldn't, so now I think I'll let her relax a bit. I'll let her enjoy her degree and have a respite from the responsibility of my kingdom for a while. She's earned it."

Sigh... yeah right.

Graduate nursing school, done. Get a job, sure thing. Pass the dreaded NCLEX (in the works, pray for me), figure out my divine purpose in life and execute God inspired ministry and Kingdom expanding work.... nope, they forgot to print those instructions on my diploma.

Why has God not revealed to me his plan for my life? Like, his plan plan? Nursing school and getting a job seem to be more like tools to bridge the chasm between myself and the plan of God, but they are not the ultimate plan plan. How do I get God to tell me the plan plan?

It seems always to be moments like these, filled with concerns like this in which God reminds me that what I think should be his plan plan for me, is probably not what he thinks his plan plan for me is going to be.

Exhibit A:

The other day I was driving by myself, going nowhere exciting, when I saw a man begging on the street corner. I'm sure you'll be proud to say you know me when I tell you that my next thought was; "Phew! I'm turning left, he's on the right side of the street. There is no expectation on the left hand lane to lend aid. This man is now the responsibility of the right hand lane."

"The responsibility of the right hand lane." WHAT.

I was momentarily distracted from the plight of not knowing my purpose, being unsure of where to serve, choking on the fear of becoming insignificant, by the relief of avoiding awkward charity to a man who was made in the image of God and counted as surpassing the wealth of the world in value.

The light turns green: exhale. I'm glad that's over. I almost made eye contact.

I'm not overly afflicted with false modesty so when I say I was horribly ashamed as I lay in bed that night turning over the events of my day in my head, I mean it. Would it have been so hard for me to pull over, walk with my God given legs, heaven forbid buy the man a turkey sandwich, and maybe, just maybe share the gospel with a brother? Wallowing in my self-pity and focus on Bree, my kind and sweet king Jesus tapped me on the shoulder and lovingly pulled me out of my shrunken world view.

He said to me, "In humility, consider others better than yourself." Philippians 2:3

"Sure Jesus, I get that now, I'm so sorry!"

Then he landed the big one,

"If you do away with the yoke of oppression,

With the pointing finger and malicious talk,

And if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry

And satisfy the needs of the oppressed,

Then your light will rise in the darkness,

And your night will become like the noonday."

Isaiah 58: 9-12

"I will satisfy your needs, and guide you in this sun-scorched land, I will strengthen you! You will be called the Reparier of Broken Walls, and Restorer of Streets with Dwelling!"

Wow Jesus! Purpose! Thank you! I can do that! I can satisfy the needs of the oppressed! I can spend myself on behalf of the hungry! Jesus, just show me the hurting and I will pour myself out like a drink offering. From here on out, I'm YOURS!

Oh. You did that already? Right, that man on the street corner.... I'm so sorry Jesus! I love you! I want to make you happy, please help me see him next time.

.....What Jesus? Someone else? Who Lord?! Tell me and I will do your will!

Oh, him? I guess I could say something to my coworker about you. I don't know if we have that kind of a relationship. But sure, I'll talk to him, for your glory! Maybe, if the situation is right...

Thank you God for revealing to me someone to minister to!..... wait, there is someone else? Oh, her? I guess I do see her walking down my street every day... would that be weird though? She doesn't look like she wants to know about you, if you know what I mean? Fine though, I'll awkwardly stop her on her walk and delay her from her exercise to tell her about you. Fine.

But Jesus doesn't stop there... more and more and more people I constantly interact with that do not know Him begin to flood my mind.

Wow God, those people? They're just regular folks though. I see them every day, in the monotony of suburbia. They can't be my grand purpose, can they? They can't be the plan plan, can they?

With the corners of his mouth turning up in suppressed amusement at my finally catching on, my King of Kindness responds,"Oh, but yes, my beloved. Where there are people, there is purpose. This is and forever will be my plan plan for you. Enjoy."

But, but, that's NOT Africa! That's not combating the underground world of sex slavery in Europe! That is NOT exciting! That cannot be the plan plan! Jesus! Quit jerking my chain and tell me the plan plan! The big kahuna! Come on man....

Then, this always happens after I pitch a fit to the King of Kindness; silence.

The wise silence of one who knows me to my inner being allows me to mill over his lesson.

First stage of milling: anger. Second stage: denial. Third stage: acceptance. Fourth stage: gratitude.

How wonderful our King of Kindness for allowing us the thrill of Kingdom work in the hum and drum of the un-exciting? That the battle waged in the spiritual world for the soul of the man you have worked with for ten years may be won or lost, hinging on the courage of Jesus lovers like us.

Wow! God! There is purpose everywhere! The excitement and activity of this life is boundless! Thank you for teaching me through my failure to show compassion, that there is opportunity for Kingdom work walking past me, working with me, and bagging my groceries.

May we be bold in our perceived Intermediate States. Turns out, there is no such thing.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we may comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."

-2 Corinthians 1:3

To wrap things up, here are some photos from the most exciting day of my young life :)